5 years later

5 years ago on Oct 26th my father woke me up and said goodbye to me in his normal voice. He was set of to get surgery on his tongue which had tested positive for cancer. I did not know if I would be saying goodbye to him for the last time. I had faith that everything would work out. I woke up later and went to school to take an Aims test to try to exceed...why i still took it that day I have no clue because of course I could not concentrate. I left school early because I just did not want to be there after my test because I could not think of anything else but my dad. Blanca came over and helped me with my homework and took me to the dollar store to buy some gifts for my dad. We made him a basket of stuff to do in the hospital and a whiteboard to write what he needed to say since we knew he might not be able to talk for a while.

Blanca took me to the hospital and at this point I had no clue how my dad was doing because my mom would not tell me. When I got to the hospital my mom started to cry and Judy and Celeste my sister in law had to tell me what was going on. My dad had been in surgery 8 hours and that was not a good sign. Apparently my dad had a lot more cancer than expected. They sent biopsy back after biopsy and everyone came back positive. My dads surgeon finally decided to stop and leave as much of the tongue as he could and hope radiation and chemo would get the rest. When I had finally heard the news my heart dropped to my stomach. I had always thought that was an expression...but no i literally felt it drop. My dad only had 1/3rd of his tongue left, had a feeding tube, and had a trachea.

Blanca made me go see him. I had no intention of visiting him at the hospital. I did not want to see my dad like that. Blanca held my hand and i saw my dad with his neck stapled like Frankenstein, tubes everywhere, some tubes with blood, and a big tube coming out of his neck. I felt so queasy. Blanca helped me out of their when she saw me go pale. I am so grateful for Blanca's help that day.

I drove my mom home and when we got there Suzzie was there with Lillie. We had always worried about Chris and Suzzie getting pregnant with Lillie so quickly after they got married when they had not known each other very long. Well I did not as much but it was said. :) But the Lord had it in his plans to have that little girl come down. Lillie's smiles and happy demeanor helped our family through one of our hardest trials. Heavenly Father knew we needed her. She put into focus that life goes on and that it will all work out in the end.

Those next weeks and months were very hard and tiring both physically and emotionally. Blessings never ceased. Though it was so hard, so hard, the spirit and presence of God have never been stronger in my life. Literally our lives were guided in the smallest aspects to the largest. I understood every word my father said when no one would. To this day I still understand what my father says when he has a tough time saying it. I acted as his translator to everyone else. He even said once he could not understand at all how I understood him. But I did! I attributed this talent of mine to the years i talked with my mouth full, though this could have helped, I knew it was a huge tender mercy from the lord. The Lord let me help my dad when he was frustrated with his inabilities and affliction. I thank my Heavenly Father for that opportunity.

Five years later I am about to graduate college and I could not have gotten through it alive without my dad. That trial made us stronger and though I would rather not relive it, I do not want it taken away. Yes I would love to have my dad whole again, for him to eat pizza, and to hear his voice I heard as a child. One day after our resurrection I will hear him again and if it is truly heaven... he will be able to eat pizza! I love my Heavenly Father and know he set up my life to be able to handle that experience and use it to help other later in my life. Thank you to all of you who have prayed and assisted with whatever was needed back then and now.